Love and Life Go On and On
Updated: Jun 13, 2020
I find myself thinking so many things as I process through the times we currently face.
I reflect in a non-catastrophizing, awe-filled consideration of mere existence kind of way, and yet the ‘what-ifs’ come...
What if something happens to me?
What if something happens to a loved one?
What if the economy collapses, and I lose the life I know?
What if I am okay but many others hurting can’t be helped?
What if life is never the same again?
I B R E A T H E.
I remind myself that it would not be the first time that I’ve lost what I've known.
I remember that the first time that happened, I was young.
I hold the 'knowings' that came as gifts through the time of change and loss.
I settle into the reality that life has chapters and seasons, and we keep becoming.
I see each day is a gift.
I see that I am a part of something greater than I can understand or imagine.
I see that life itself is a miracle.
I breathe and bring myself to Be Here Now.
I lay on my couch with the sunshine streaming in through the picture window of my living room, and I am, just for the moment, a cat.
Warm, snuggled, full of peace and life.
A gentle breeze streams through the room.
I am drawn into my mother heart as images of my lovely and wonderful boys reveal themselves.
My heart aches with the fullness of something greater than I could have ever wished for.
Joyful tears trickle into the corner of my eyes.
I give birth to their histories.
Memories of baby smells and smiles.
Of snuggly sleeps on my chest on the sick days.
Of my youngest growing tall and proud and his many, many “Look, Mom” moments.
Of my oldest’s phrase, “One Mo,” squealing as he looked to us in anticipation for more of a great thing.
I think what it would be like if I could not have one more.
If I did not have the chance to say one more thing.
One more encouraging word.
One more opportunity to guide, or help, or support.
One more minute to just listen, to come to know, to see a new layer of their miraculousness.
If there was not going to be one more, what is it I would say?
What would I say today?
I notice that my heart holds the day outside my window, the world, the universe, and reaches beyond to capture all that it can. My heart wants to package it into a something-kind-of- wonderful- a unique blend for each of them.
No wait. I see.
Whatever it is that created each of us did just that when it brought them to me.
It stirred together a kaleidoscope of specks, and sparkles, and energies and glimpses and interests, and passions, and preferences.
Today, I want to say,
Boys, you have been created from the corners of the Earth and the places beyond.
You are a perfectly unique blend of all that is… you are here to experience, adventure, discover, to give, to receive, to connect, to capture, to set free, to do and to be. You are each writing, one-of-a-kind stories with your lives that I love to be a part of...
And I want you to know “wherever you may go, no matter where you are, I will never be far away.”
At the end of the day, we each have limited control. It is so often in surrendering to that realization and embracing the now that we are freed to create our richest moments. Feeling safe surrendering to the now is not always easy.
Remembering the parts of important people, places, books, art or other experiences that stay with us, wherever we may go, can help us continue building internal security. Take a few minutes and reflect on the goodness and love that stays with you as you enjoy Billy Joel’s sweet song, Lullabye.
Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) Billy Joel
Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes And save these questions for another day I think I know what you've been asking me I think you know what I've been trying to say I promised I would never leave you Then you should always know Wherever you may go, no matter where you are I never will be far away Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep And still so many things I want to say Remember all the songs you sang for me When we went sailing on an emerald bay And like a boat out on the ocean I'm rocking you to sleep The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart You'll always be a part of me Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream And dream how wonderful your life will be Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby Then in your heart there will always be a part of me Someday we'll all be gone But lullabies go on and on They never die That's how you and I will be Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Billy Joel Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group